2 — Lugia EX — Ancient Origins (68/98)
3 — Shaymin EX — Roaring Skies (77/108)
3 — Jumpluff — Steam Siege (5/114)
4 — Skiploom — Dragon's Exalted (2/124)
4 — Hoppip — Steam Siege (3/114)
4 — Vespiquen — Ancient Origins (10/98)
4 — Combee — Ancient Origins (9/98)
Trainers [24]
1 — Computer Search — Boundaries Crossed (137/149)
2 — Trainers' Mail — Ancient Origins (100/98)
2 — Level Ball — Next Destinies (89/99)
3 — Ultra Ball — Dark Explorers (102/108)
1 — Delinquent — BREAKpoint (98/122)
2 — Shauna — X&Y (127/146)
3 — Professor Sycamore — BREAKpoint (107/122)
4 — N — Fates Collide (105/124)
4 — Forest of Giant Plants — Ancient Origins (74/98)
2 — Weakness Policy — Primal Clash (164/160)
Energy [12]
4 — Double Colorless Energy
8 — Grass Energy
Epilogue
As the saying goes, there's a thin line between love and hate. And this deck aims to tell the tale of its darkest side. Here we have the girl—Vespiquen. Who storms in and throws the bouquet in your face.
Between [Solar Step] Jumpluff and Forest of Giant Plants, the cruel edge of rejection deals out a heartbreaking 120 damage for a single energy, on the first turn. Heartbreaking is truly just the only way to explain it. The game just begins, and in a single [Solar Step], any hope for having a fair chance is much of lost. Damage of this magnitude is just so relentless—that it's sure to claim the typical starter hands down—and leaving anyone else with very little time to retreat or defend themselves in any way.
From there, our aspiring lover is sure to be quickly sent to the discard pile. And you would think that the hostility stops there, but this girl's relentlessness knows no boundaries.
Next, she photoshops herself with two black eyes and tells people you did it! And between the combination of [Bee Revenge] Vespiquen & [Aero Ball] Lugia—this act is sure to be the harbinger to a whole new world of misery.
Even in the event that Jumpluff only gets to connect once, a now empowered [Bee Revenge] will be able to Knock Out any Pokémon boasting 170HP or less. While on a single Double Colorless Energy, [Aero Ball] will hold the power to Knock Out a Pokémon empowered up to 220HP! This versatility of power ensures that even Mega Pokémon and Fighting Fury Belt wearers fair no better chance against the wrath of a vexatious lover—making the overtone of this deck all the more true to reality.
From here, the assault with [Bee Revenge], [Aero Ball], and [Deep Hurricane] (crying her eyes out in fake tears) is never-ending—and further accessorized by a myriad of devious torture devices and torture methods in her repertoire.
These are fully articulated by our collection of Items and Supporters, which primarily aim to assemble Jumpluff in a single turn with a play second strategy, so that a quick and heavy attack with [Solar Step] can be made to aggressively jump the damage stack at the start of the game.
The collection of these items represent a number of spiteful acts, that only a truly vexatious lover could do to a person. Such as cyber-stalking you on the internet or crashing your computer; throwing a brick through your window and slashing your tires; or even dropping poison or dangerous medication into your drinks. Some very dark things that are all too common place among many tales of love and betrayal.
Now functionally, the collection of these Items are retrieval cards, and the spread between them is tactically woven with the intention of assuring the most pernicious coverage and diversity against the opponent. You see, each Item here is a considerable extension to another Item. Pairs of them revolve around the same resources, where the collection of all these Items together provide a strong measure of consistency to the deck's overall resource gathering potential.
However, the needs of this deck are somewhat diverse (between the number of Pokémon and non-Pokémon resources needed), so that this deck has to split its resource gathering support between two different card types.
Akin to this, each of these Item cards retrieve a specific resource significantly more proficient than the others—so that the spread between them ultimately aims to superiorly diversify this deck's overall reach (through this diverse on-demand access to various key resources—complimenting this deck's heavy consistency of its most important cards).
Consistency aims to make up for the bulk of this deck's resource needs, while the tactical spread of retrieval cards hope to easily pick up the difference, and ensure that every resource is wrapped around its finger.
Now, this deck's final Item is Weakness Policy—the restraining order, divorce papers, or Will and Testament (depending on how dark the bad romance). And its potential varies dramatically depending on the case. It can be as simple as scrap—or it can be the nail in the coffin.
Depending on how light the case, Weakness Policy might just get tossed to Computer Search or Ultra Ball (or just tossed on a Pokémon for no good reason—to thin out of the deck). However, in more severe cases, Weakness Policy is going to provide immunity from this deck's only real vulnerability granted its speed and power—the attribute of Weakness.
Providing this immunity at the start of the game can turn Jumpluff into a Molotov cocktail itself—fighting fire with fire (with an immense amount of damage). And in the hands of Vespiqueen or Lugia EX, can make their assault so unrelenting, that the game pace becomes entirely unpassable for the opposition (at what could have otherwise been the game's most pivotal point for them).
Needless to say, even this pales in comparison to the most devastating deed in her repertoire, as just one play of Delinquent can end the game! And when it's played, it almost certainly always does. The game pace for this deck is just so fast and heavy, that when the single copy of Delinquent comes around, it often strips the opponent of their every remaining hope, and leaves them without any hope at all.
And this same potential is considerably shared between the rest of our Supporters here—in their ability to get to every resource when it's needed—while otherwise keeping the draw as one-sided as possible throughout the game. For this reason, Delinquent is our headliner to the most devastating acts of a vexatious lover—which include having you locked up, having children by other men, and even conspiring to take you out cold!
This all starts with N, which like the maximum sentence, grants the unconditional maximum amount of cards at the start of the game. Given how much safer the wheel effect is than the discarding condition of Professor Juniper, N takes the lead to best the favor of this deck when facing any controversial opening hands.
For much of the same reason, Shauna makes her appearance here over various other Supporter options. You see, Shauna is a one-sided wheel card, that provides the best secured range of cards over other wheels (such as Colress or Professor Birch's Observations). At the start of the game, this is critical, because a short hand of 4 cards or less could sink this deck's hopes of raping the opponent on turn one with Jumpluff.
This deck does have Computer Search, 3 Ultra Ball and 3 {Set Up} Shaymin-EX to super reinforce its draw potential, but it still wants to get to as many cards at the start of the game as possible for this very reason. And that one extra card over the low-side of our second best option (Professor Birch's Observations) makes Shauna the single best, and most secure Supporter to secure the flow of the cards at the start of the game when it's the only option available.
In addition to that, this deck could also suffer dramatically from a shortened hand of 4 cards or less as its precious resources narrow out, and getting to getting to one of them right away (such as Double Colorless Energy) is essential to stay on the dominant side of the game pace.
Against more aggressive or technical decks, it's definitely a possibility for things to come down to a grind. Where once again, the definite medium range of Shauna's one-sided wheel effect further helps to best secure the flow of the cards over other options (even certain included ones such as N) in the mid-game and end-game scenarios.
This all comes full circle with Professor Juniper, who is this deck's primary extension between its other two wheel Supporters. Professor Juniper's powerful draw can very often be relied on to quickly secure whatever resources might be needed. And given all the retrieval power in this deck, it also has a great chance of being able to make explicit use of Professor Juniper without wasting too many cards.
As an added bonus, a play on Professor Juniper can even purge additional unneeded Pokémon from the hand (unadulterating the deck's consistency—and further encouraging the wrath of Vespiquen).
It all adds up to a very tragic end for one aspiring lover, as this collection of ladies makes some very deadly company, and their relentlessness surely doesn't leave much to question.
If she loves anything at all—surely she loves me not.
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